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Phone Conversation, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer – Redwood Glasses

Chuck: Nancy?

Nancy: Hello?

C: THere’s static. [Blows in receiver.] Hi, Nancy.

N: Did you get my email?

C: What’s the clicking on this line?

N: I don’t hear anything.

C: WHat about an email?

N: Did you get mine?

C: I did, I think. The one with the coupons for starbucks?

N: No, I meant the two for one on the reading glasses.

C: Let me look. Yes, there it is. Which frames did you get?

N: The expensive ones.

C: Oh, i see those, gold plated gold. Very nice. Thirty eight hundred?

N: And bullet resistant lenses. Plus if you remove the right ear hook it shoots a poison dart.

C: Now they’re thinking of everything.

N: There’s a time for being stylish, and there’s a time for being stylish with an edge.

C: what about these redwood frames?

N: A fine selection. The frame is a single piece of redwood made from a single giant redwood tree in the california forest. ONly one pair of frames is made from the tree, and the rest of the tree is chopped up and delivered to minority communities in los angeles and san francisco, so that they can build fires to stay warm.

C: I’d like to peer over redwood glasses.

N: The coupon drops the price to $87,000.

C: Not bad.

N: Just expense it.

C: You can do that?

N: As long as the item is used for at least 37 seconds in your official duties, yes.

C: I figured you would have gone for the redwood glasses, myself.

N: There’s expensive, and there’s custom stylish. THe redwood glasses are custom stylish. I wanted expensive, but I wasn’t thinking custom stylish.

C: THat’s great. I’m going to order a pair of the custom redwoods.

N: Just be sure to place your order quickly, in case they get burned up. Scarcity will increase the cost.

C: I’m sure we can cover that.

N: My methodone is here. Gotta run.

C: See ya.

End Transcript
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Phone Transcript

For the sake of accountability to the American people, we present unabridged transcripts of conversations between participants in the Beltway.

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