Biden Asks for ‘Negro’ Servant
Racy Presidential Comment Results in Divided Opinions
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a throwback to his race baiting days of yore, President Biden requested a “negro servant” to draw his bath and brush his teeth. Media Czar Jen Psaki was quick to defend the President’s remarks.
“What the president meant is that he affirms action favoring minorities and their rise to positions of power,” Psaki said.
The comment was recorded by a Russian microphone planted in the nose of the bust of slain President John F. Kennedy in the Oval Office.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki denied any prior knowledge of the device, instead pointing her guns at former President Donald J. Trump.
“Obviously we’re not planting Russian bugs in the White House,” Psaki said, and laughed. “But we are going to find out who the shyster is that planted this thing, figure out where the leak is, and maybe trace it through Putin to Trump. I’ve got a feeling, and so does the President. I mean, you know how these guys are.”
Wolf Blitzer called on President Trump to resign from the human race for his treasonous activities in masterminding the planting of the bug. “Disgusting, disgusting,” said Blitzer. “Just who the hell does this guy [Trump] think he is?”
Blitzer was so irritated by this thought that he flung his notes and blasted off the set. He returned a moment later to continue his broadcast.
Rev. Al Sharpton said that the declaration from the White House that Trump was involved “made an ironclad case that Trump was involved, and that his motive was racism. We don’t need evidence Trump was involved. We know Trump. He’s always involved through shady backroom and backdoor deals that embarrass us all. In this land of the free, we ain’t gonna stand for no more. God bless America.” Sharpton then called for strict curbs on freedom of speech.
Congressional Black Caucus Representative Hank Johnson defended the President’s use of the word “negro.”
“He don’t mean no disrespect in it. He’s harkening back to a time when whites and blacks were divided because of the whites. When he uses that word “negro,” what he means is a show of respect for the Civil Rights Era and the Negroes who served and fought in that war, back when they was called Negroes. It’s a tribute to the foot soldiers of that era.”
When pressed about the use of the word servant, Johnson said, “You know Joe, we all know Joe. He’s just playin’. He’s a good man, never a finer one under golden sun on God’s green earth. It’s what you call irony. We know it’s tongue-in-cheek, just playing, having fun.”
Johnson also claimed that he applied for the job of bathwater drawer, but the President declined to hire Johnson because he lacked experience and was overqualified for the job.
“I’d be the president’s negro any day,” Johnson said.