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Kerry Calls for Climate Change Concentration Amid Ukrainian Conflict
Imperial Climate Czar John Kerry says ignore Ukraine, focus on climate
WASHINGTON, DC — Biden administration climate czar Jon Kerry called upon president Biden to shift the focus from the Ukrainian conflict to climate change.
“It’s an unprecedented time,” said Kerry. “The world is so fixated on Ukraine that it has forgotten the fact that the ozone, that few centimeters separating us from a total holocaust of radioactive destruction, is slowly being depleted.”
Kerry also warned that conflict in Ukraine has increased carbon emissions in by 18 million percent.
“Ukraine alone is touted and scheduled according to our estimates to burn a hole the size of Texas through the ozone layer by late June 2022 if this continues,” said Kerry
The Biden administration is working hand in hand with Kerry to emphasize to Vladimir Putin that the war in Ukraine’s great detriment to the world is not the cost of lives paid out to bombardments of cities but the cost to the entire human race due to climate change.
Kerry has called upon the Biden administration to ignore the war in the Ukraine and to focus time and resources on enacting legislation that will reduce carbon emissions by 45% by 2030, and a one hundred thousand percent reduction by 2035.
“The world is watching us at the moment,” said Kerry. “They are wondering what we will do. Everyone is asking themselves whether America will take climate change seriously, or be distracted by small things, such as the machinations of Vladimir Putin.”
Kerry also noted that what is at stake in the Ukrainian conflict is not an outmoded ideal of freedom and independence for Ukraine, with which they could do without, but climate justice and climate security for the entire world.
“The Ukrainians are behaving selfishly in their failure to accede immediately to the invasion of the Russians. If they [the Ukrainians] understood the crucial moment we have stepped into, they would realize that any international conflict will escalate global warming to potentially deadly levels. I call on all Ukrainians to immediately allow the Russians full access to their country so that we can continue harmonious pursuit of a world safe from global warming.”
Kerry, a Vietnam veteran, said that he understood the horrors of war and grieves daily over the destruction he and his fellow American soldiers wrought on the ozone layer due to their role in the Vietnam conflict. Kerry has planted over 10,000 trees in Vietnam to offset his carbon emissions while serving in Vietnam. “I’m clean,” said Kerry.
Kerry is also working with the President to form a World Environmental Protection Force (WEPForce), which would consist of US special operations forces and other military personnel to travel globally and enforce climate change protocols and ensure the safety and security of the climate for generations to come.
Many republicans have decried Kerry’s statements as cold, odd, heartless, cruel, insipid, stupid, and naive.
Congresswoman Elise Stefanik: “The president’s failure to rein in clowns like Kerry reminds me of the old adage, ‘One if be land, two if by moron.’”
Congressman Glenn Thompson: “We can plant seeds of real climate change when we change the climate of aggression in this country to nil. And a banner of freedom waving over it all to the nth degree.”
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