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Obama to be Featured on New $37 Bill
Look out, Harriett Tubman. Barack Obama might have his own bill.
An institution that became a denomination. Photo courtesy usnews.com.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former POTUS Barack Obama may soon have his face displayed on a brand new denomination of currency. The $37 bill has been proposed by Illinois Senator Dick Durbin as a “reasonable homage” to “one of our nation’s greatest heroes.”
“Let us not forget,” Durbin said Monday morning, “that as the first black or African American or pan-Kenyan-cum-Hawaiian president, Obama has led the way in radical racial change. Before Mr. Obama, blacks across the South were being lynched. They were even being lynched in Chicago, Detroit, and L.A. And now? Zip. That’s gone with the wind.”
Durbin also challenged his fellow senators to consider what legacy they wished to leave behind.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called the initiative “a class act from an act with class.” She called on all Americans to maintain and promote the “great vision of so great a leader, who has sacrificed so much for the cause of liberty.”
Pelosi also suggested that the time might be ripe to enforce the display of eight inch by ten inch photographs of Barack Obama in each American home. She holds that this could be the solution to “at long last getting the government into homes of Americans to see what they are really doing and to help them live better lives and ensure they are safe from foreign and domestic enemies.”
The Obama denomination, $37, might strike some as odd.
But Durbin insists that due to rising inflation, which he says is “impossible to stop because of the greed of Wall Street and Trump’s cronies,” the $37 bill will become the new twenty.
Durbin also notes that Americans are growing tired of what he calls “the endless sameness of these one, two, five, ten, twenty, fifty, and one hundred dollar bills. Variety is the slice of life.“
U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said she likes the idea. “I’m all for novelty,” said Yellen. “I like printing money. It’s cathartic. I like weird denominations. I’ve got prototypes for thousands of denominations. Ever heard of the seventy five cent denomination? How about the $1.08? Perfect for a large Coke from McDonald’s. I don’t think we have enough [denominations]. Just tell me when. I’m ready.”
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