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White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki’s Stunning Memoir Set For Release April

Jen Psaki at press conference
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White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki’s Stunning Memoir Set For Release April

Ready to know more about Jen Psaki? Now you can, thanks to her upcoming memoir.

Jen Psaki at press conference

MANDEL NGAN/AFP via Getty Images via NPR

WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House press secretary Jen Psaki’s memoir, P.S. I Love You, is set to be released on April Fool’s Day. The memoir will disclose numerous long-awaited details of Psaki’s upbringing, education, college wiles, activities as an agitator for the C.I.A. in Venezuala, and work for the Mexican cartel as a mule. Psaki concluded Tuesday’s press conference with a statement about her book.

Jen Psaki P.S. I Love You Memoir Book Cover

I UNDERSTAND THAT a lot of people think it’s idiotic to have P.S., meaning Press Secretary, in the title. I don’t know — I thought it was cute and clever. They say that the title should correspond to the subject matter. So, yeah….

I have long wanted to write my memoirs. My life has been lived to the full. This stint as press secretary for the white house, I mean, wow, what can i say? The capstone of an already busy life. I’m only 42, I mean, yeah.

My hope is that my story can be inspiring to lots of people, all kinds of people, black, and just whatever color.

Some people ask me, what’s your life like?

Here’s a picture. I run through every day with the pedal to the floorboard. I drive so hard that, were I an electric car, I might get half the battery life of regular drivers. Most of the time the car would be parked outside Wal Mart getting charged while I rifle through the discount racks for that perfect blouse to match my uber-tight pants.  That’s how hard I push. That’s my life.

My story lives and breathes with the motivation that only a press secretary, privy to the nation’s blackest–sorry, darkest–secrets, can provide. Many republicans have chided me for attempting to profit from my position as press secretary.

So, let me just mitigate or dispel or whatever those rumors by saying, first, I profit every day from this position. One, I get paid to do this job. This isn’t a volunteer position or community service. Two, there’s no rule against personally profiting from your time in office. 

“Press secretaries,” they are fond of saying, “should not be consumers of cash, but dispensers of knowledge.”

That may be true, but I haven’t found it to be so. I find it hard to take old white men seriously. Old white anything is probably in the dustbin. Am I white? Yes. Am I getting older? It’s a matter of perspective.

And so we return to where we began: cute and clever, no matter the weather.

I’m Jen,
and once again,
let’s begin
with a grin.

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