—The following is a paid advertisement. The payment was made in cash and deposited in a flower pot in a Los Angeles alley behind a parking garage.—
Congressional Operatives Make A Stink Over Smelling Like Nancy Pelosi
From ground zero of political enchantment comes Poo Loo, a fragrance from Nancy Pelosi.
That’s what Parfumiers Quarterly called Nancy Pelosi’s PooLoo Parfume.
Considering that the magazine only showcases the most exquisite perfumes, Pelosi’s PooLoo accomplishment is certainly nothing to poo-poo.
Nancy is so much more than a political statement. She’s a scent tastemaker.
Congress Has Never Smelled Better!
And now, you can smell just like Nancy every day, with PooLoo.
Just $1,957 per ounce, that’s only $5,871 per bottle.
“A steal!” says VP Kamala Harris.
Even Paul Pelosi loves it.
“This wonderful woman has always smelled to me like heaven. While you’ll never in a million years smell as good as she does, at least now you can try.”
Share the glory of this glorious woman with glorious PooLoo Parfum.
Pelosi’s PooLoo is the ultimate status symbol.
From zowie to bow-wowie, you’ll have the world eating out of your carefully-aged hands.
Politicians across party lines are dipping into their slush funds to finance the purchase of PooLoo.
- “This is luxe to the triple max.”—Valerie Foushee, Democrat, U.S. representative for North Carolina’s 4th congressional district
- “Exquisite remonstrations of superlative order.”—Virgina Foxx, Republican, U.S. representative from North Carolina’s 5th congressional district
- “Deliciousness.”—Gwen Moore, Democrat, U.S. representative for Wisconsin’s 4th congressional district
To date, congressional operatives have spent over $25,000 on Pelosi’s parfume. A staggering amount, some say, considering….
But the value of smelling politically viable in an ever-declining skin?
PooLoo will do for you
What you never thought possible—
Here’s Nancy Pelosi to tell you all about her fragrance:
I felt it was important to bottle my scent for women of female future genreationals to encompass some kind of scent-wide diversity program. It’s always interesting to me, and a little bit disgusting, how fondling Donald J. Trump can be. Am I going to let him sniff? You bet not. But this parfum is the delight of a thousand nations. A dab will do—so do the dab for you. Some people say, “Hey, Nancy, you’re too old to run for office.” I tell them that they can shove it up their ass. And while they’re at it—try my parfum. You’ll love it. Women everywhere can smell fresh and attractive. At last.
—Nancy “Pooloo” Pelosi
Thank you, Nancy.
From the bottom of her heart, Nancy says YES TO POOLOO, and you can, too.
Grab a bottle today.
And if you act now, you can get approved for the Congressional discount: 3% off for ALL MEMBERS OF CONGRESS.
Talk about reaching across the aisle.
Bipartisanship has never had a brighter future.
Peace at last, peace at last! Thank God Almighty, PEACE AT LAST!
PooLoo—it’s the best you’ll ever do. Obviously.