by BH OBama
A considerable amount of time has been spent investigating the best way to stuff ballots into mailboxes, both for the ease and comfort of the stuffer and for the most efficient way to get all those envelopes into the mailbox without, say, being caught or looking too obvious.
In Chicago alone the history of ballot stuffing has been the subject of intense interest.
As a former community organizer in chicago, I have been privy to a host of knowledge about the best way to rig elections. I myself have participated, though at at distance, in a good number of election riggings. And what can I say? At the end of the day, we democrats know how to win.
That’s what rigging is all about: winning.
I know that many of my critics have gone on and on about how democrats are election stealers, immoral, how they rig elections, and so forth. Well, I’d like to go on record as saying that that is in many cases true. WE democrats are clever and creative when it comes to winning elections. And we like to win. No matter how you slice the pie, we want our share of victory–and yours, too.
You have to win somehow. You have to get the victory in the bag.
I’m offering this small guide as a means to achieving big goals and dreams: jobs for the American people, more food on the table, lower taxes, better healthcare, secure borders, rights for women and minorities, the devolution of white folks.
But none of this can be achieved without ballot stuffing. We’ve reached an impasse in this nation: justice can’t be enforced except through election rigging. We’ve got to get the right people in to bring about the right results for this country.
If we came out and told people what we really wanted to do with them and to them, what our endgamexx what the endgame was that ewe had in mind, it’s not likely most people would vote for us.
Enter election riggning. We rig elections because we know what’s best for the American people, even if they don’t. It’s our duty to give them the best candidates possible to bring about these necessary changes.
“From the moment I picked up Ballot Stuffing, I knew it was a surefire winner. I couldn’t put it down. Hillary and I can’t wait to work the polling booths in 2024 with our fellow Americans.” – BILL CLINTON
And like I said, we know that election rigging is our best, maybe only, avenue for victory at this point in the game.
That’s why I’ve written this little pamphlet, Barry O’s Guide To Ballet Stuffing.
It’s an informative and informal guide on the best techniques, strategies, and tactics ever devidsed to rig elections through ballot stuffing.
These techniques have worked for deacdes in Chicago to keep the wrong people out of office and the right people–and the right ideas–incumbent in perpetuity.
I’m convinced these same ideas can and will work for democrats all across the land of the bigots, and the home of the colonialists.
Much as I wish it was, I know this pamphlet isn’t the final word. My hope is that generations of democratic poll workers, policy wonks, and wide-eyed extremists will build upon these timeless and hard-learned lessons to develop ever more effective strategies to stuff the ballot box with impunity.
The future is at stake. Don’t leave politics to the voters. Don’t leave it to the machinations of a dictator like Donald J. Trump.
Let’s get it right. With thanksgiving nigh, let’s remember what grandma always said about turkeys, and ballots: stuff it.
Yes, we can.
By hook or by crook–
Hey, don’t gimme that look.
We got this covered,
And before we’re discovered,
We’ll take the reins of power
And ride that wave
Hour after hour.
Your tax dollars at work.
Hey, don’t be a jerk.
– BH OBAMA